10 Minutes Before A Final Goodbye !

10, 9, 8…

We are all moments away from something new,

the clock keeps ticking and ten minute later you

will be leaving and I don’t have a reason to ask

you to stay. I don’t have a heart-moving

words; nor do I have a grand gesture to show

you how much I care about you. I saw the

entire universe of galaxies, and I thought of

you. I wonder what my warm eyes were looking

at, are they? Doting around the stars looking for

someone to reciprocate the exhilaration that

runs through my veins in form of memories of

the year spent with you. May be I want to

scream at the top of my lungs for everyone to

hear or the confetti to be thrown from the

clouds written with all these words that try to

shine with sincerity.

7, 8, 6…

I’m sorry that I never wrote anything perfect for

you so that I can give it to you, not even a

simple goodbye. And truthfully, I don’t know

what I would say in return if you wished me

goodbye, the usual best of luck with your

career and for your life. But if I could, I would

have liked to tell you other things.

I would have liked to say that a perfect goodbye

would be me giving these unsent letters and

you reading these as if we are synchronized

within the fabric of these letters and word. I

would have wanted one beautiful memory of

you before you left me, in small moments and

instances stored inside my rib cage in form of

that cheesy smile that slip past your lips and

the scrawled natural world within every

misplaced hair that covers those hazel eyes of

yours. I would have wanted to say that I love

every part of you even those aspects of yourself

that you doubt and those you keep hidden. I

would have liked to share every trauma that

have been etched into your soul; but I don’t

have that privilege. For once, I didn’t feel that

waves of grief wash over me with their favorite

flavor of bitterness and anger.

5, 4, 3…

I’m sorry mulled wine and champagne have

lured me into thinking. I’m sorry that I have

never written about you with beautiful words

perfectly and for never telling you that I miss

your outline every time I see you leaving me,

I’m sorry that no one knows the taste of

nostalgia that coats your complexion. I’m sorry

for the way I acted once out of frustration, I’m

sorry for missing you when I shouldn’t. I’m

sorry for so many things; I’m sorry for being

sorry.

I am aware that you will be gone after this blink

of an eye. I’m aware that you never needed me

as much as I wanted you to. I am aware that

every blank pages that I stained with the

feelings that holds me so tightly will never

amount much into your life. I’m aware that you

didn’t wish me birthday and reminded me that

how little I meant to you. I am aware that I only

have you in small moments. I am aware that

this is the place we have reached, and I’m

aware that this is where you will be gone on a

different path never to cross again.

2…

Time will slip away through words and songs

on earphone. All I can do is wish you well, and

hope that I don’t just become a name to you,

because you will always be more than that to

me.

You will be always the one who stole my heart

and became the mirror radiating aliveness into

my soul.

1…

May be I didn’t deserved to be loved too. But if

you have a pen, take a memo and note it down:

"Once you’re loved in your totality supremely

with every fiber of mine."

0...

Because of that, I sincerely say this honest and

final goodbye.

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